Amy Kelly, CEO and Founder, Parent eSource With Dave & Bill on CHWradio

Today, Amy Kelly, CEO, and Founder of Parent eSource shared an hour of her time to talk about the Digital Divide that exists between children and parents and to announce the launch of their new site, “Get Socially Active”.

“How does social networking make you feel” is a question Amy Kelly poses that we as parents should be mindful about and a question that we should ask our children. How does the social networks influence our child’s self-esteem…Amy has a thousand friends and David only has fifty friends.

I can recall a moment when I realized as a young parent the significance of the comment, “Do as I say not as I do”. I may have got away with that, “BC” (Before Children), but that thinking would no longer apply when setting the example for my children. I am sure; I am not the only parent that faced this realization…Your behaviors are on display for modeling, so it is time to be a role model.

I mention the later paragraph because several guests of CHWradio have alluded to how having children became the catalyst for their passion and involvement for making the Internet a better place for his or her child. This is what sparked Amy Kelly to build Parent eSource for other parents, so that they could become empowered to help their children to make better-informed decisions for living a safe and secure digital life.

Amy has a background in secondary education and technology and when mixed with the passion for keeping her children safe in the digital age makes for an awesome force in bettering the lives of other parents and their children.

In the process of discovering and talking with other parents about technology and children, Amy and her husband became aware that at some point there became a disconnect when his or her child reached the age of tweens and teens, not that that is anything new in the world of raising children. However, Amy and her husband took heed to these comments and became more interested in the “why” of the disconnect, especially when technology is as involved as much as it is in the life of a child, a recipe if left unattended could be an unfortunate tragedy.

Again, both Bill and I are reminded with Amy’s comment that “communication & awareness” are key components to keeping the door ajar for an open dialogue with his or her child. Too often, we hear how a simple conversation a child had with his or her parent because the door of communication was left ajar avoided a lifetime of tormented memories…for everyone!

Something Amy mentioned that needs to be communicated more is that tweens and teens are quietly and desperately wanting to talk to his or her parent, but do not know how to begin the conversation. Again, another reason why it is so important for parents to develop a continuous and open dialogue with their children. That is why organizations like the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) developed the program, “Take 25”.  As Nancy McBride, National Safety Director for NCMEC explained the program, parents need to take twenty-five minutes and have an “in the moment” conversation with his or her child, on a regular basis. Is your child worth 25 minutes of one-on-one time?

Recommended by The CyberHood Watch Partners, Dave & Bill

According to Amy Kelly, parents top concerns are about cyberbullying and how do I keep my child safe online. Parent eSource has teamed up with and will soon launch a new site, “Get Socially Active” that incorporates some phenomenal technology that will actually, in real time, advise parents if a nefarious individual is conversing with his or her child online. There are two schools of thoughts when it comes to monitoring your child’s online activity. One that it is spying or invading your child’s privacy and the other to verify your child’s behavior as well as who is contacting your child online.

Like any great tool comes great responsibility and precautions. I do not believe we are going to abandon the Internet because there are bad individuals or that the Internet can be used inappropriately. The Internet is here! Your children are part of it, so, if you are going to parent in the 21^st Century, then you better use the same tools that nefarious individuals use to lure and groom your child online. Trust your child but verify.

One of the first things law enforcement wants to search in the case of a missing child is their computer records. These records are a timely and critical lead in tracking your child…who has she or he been talking to. Imagine how important to the investigation to have a record of your child’s online activities. You are the parent and how you use the monitoring tool determines if it is inappropriate…Not all cars are used for road rage.

Recommended by the CyberHood Watch Partners

“What is particularly unique though is that we can show parents what conversations are trending inside their children’s network. So, it is not just about monitoring what their kids are doing but really gaining insight into the influences to what their kids are being exposed to online” explained Amy Kelly.

I would much rather know I have access to whom or who is conversing with my child, and more importantly that my child knows that I have that access to know…Trust but verify.

Imagine if Wall Street knew we had the ability to monitor in real time their intentions, a farfetched comparison, but just imagine it for a moment. If your children know you might be present, kind of like having the PC in a common place with parents around, they are more likely to behave appropriately.

Parents, do you realize that there are an estimated 7.5 million kids on Facebook under the age of thirteen and 5 million of those are under the age of ten. What are you doing as a parent to help your child navigate the social networks? This is another reason why Amy’s new site, “Get Socially Active” is so timely with helping parents to help his or her child navigate the Internet and the social networks.

Our conversation with Amy Kelly continued for another half hour, so you will not want to miss out on what was said…Download the show here to listen to later at your convenience.

Thank you, Amy for sharing your time, all that you are doing to empower parents, and becoming a partner of the CyberHood Watch.

Your CyberHood Watch Partner,

david c ballard

Radio Security Journalist

As a parent we want our kids to enjoy life. There are times also when we ourselves have a lot to do, and so we need our kids to be occupied. Nowadays one way to keep them busy is with computer and video games. This can be a very dangerous practice.

The typical American child consumes media outside of school for more than 38 hours a week on average, which comes to nearly five and a half hours a day, according to a major national study released by the Kaiser Family Foundation. For children eight years and older, that amount is even higher by more than an hour: nearly six and three-quarter hours a day.

“Watching TV, playing video games, listening to music and surfing the Internet have become a full-time job for the typical American child,” said Drew Altman, Ph.D., president of the Kaiser Family Foundation. “This study really underscores the importance of paying attention to the messages and the information kids are getting from the media, both good and bad.”

There was a time when a home was nurtured almost entirely by the parents and older siblings, and if you wanted to know what the children were like, you looked at the parents. Nowadays, this doesn’t exist for the most part. The media have become the new parents of your children. And parents cannot control what kids learn from the media.

What happens when things go bad? Like when kids start spending too much time with violent video games? In fact, there’s a dark side to brain development induced by the utterly shocking brutality of some of these games. New evidence shows that violent video games can actually alter brain functioning.

Researchers at Indiana University, Indianapolis, used Magnetic Resonance Imaging, (MRI) to map out which parts of the brain are stimulated when kids play different types of video games. One group played a violent game called “Medal of Honor,” while another group played an equally exciting, but non-violent game called “Need for Speed.”

After half an hour, doctors collected the MRI data. The teens playing the non-violent game showed activity in the frontal area of the brain. This is the area associated with concentration, inhibition and self-control.

The teens playing the violent video game showed no activity in their frontal area. Instead, they activated the amygdala. This is the “reptilian” brain. It’s associated with emotional arousal – especially anger. The reptilian, or limbic brain, is the least cerebral and most animal-like part of your brain. It’s where your most basic instincts reside. Instincts like feeding, survival and procreation.

In history, man had used this well in times of crisis. Starved? Your reptilian brain will drive you to find food. The enemy chasing you and your life in danger? Your brain will put you into “fight or flight” mode- either fight or run away.

Problem is that this area of your brain has no capacity for logic, reason or objective decision making. It has no way to express tolerance, understanding or love.

Now think about it: millions of kids and teenagers are over-stimulating this portion of their brain – for hours every day.

So what?

Research has shown that both repetitive actions and repetitive thoughts hardwire your brain, reinforce whatever you’re practicing and make it more likely you’ll repeat that activity in the future. That’s the problem.

In your brain you have something called dendrites, which are connections between brain cells. Repeated activities stimulate dendrites and create neural pathways between different parts of your brain. The more you practice a certain activity, the stronger that neural pathway becomes. These structural changes are the physical mechanisms of learning. Unused neural pathways eventually atrophy.

An extreme example of this occurred when authorities discovered a teenage girl who had been locked up in her bedroom her entire life. Her parents never spoke to her, never touched her – never even acknowledged her. They kept her alive by sliding trays of food under her door.

When they arrested the parents and rescued the girl, she was already twelve years old. She was unable to communicate with words, as she had never spoke or been spoken to. The fascinating part is that when psychologists tried to teach her speech, she couldn’t learn it. After running brain scans, they discovered that the area of her brain that rules speech had atrophied. Due to lack of use, the neural pathways had collapsed – in this case, irreversibly.

Understanding this, we can suspect that children who spend a lot of time with violent games and therefore firing up their reptilian brain may be more prone to violence – and less likely to show self-control.

I’m not suggesting that all kids who play violent video games will turn violent and lose their ability to be rational. But the nature of the human brain is clear: Practiced behavior becomes dominant. Functions that are ignored get cut off and dry up and die, sometimes forever.

How Fat Is Your Child’s Brain… Is It TIME For A Strict Internet Diet? So, you may think twice before allowing your kids to buy that latest version of Doom.

Your CHW Partner

Bill Wardell

Seventeen Steps To Better Internet Parenting

The more I think about it, the more I realize what Bill and I have put together in our down loadable book, “Think It Won’t Happen To You” is exactly what will bring parents, grandparents, and responsible adults current on Internet matters threatening our children.

It is not a masterpiece of English literature, and I am sure somewhere you will find fault in its grammatical structure (I struggled with diagramming sentences – ouch, still stings), but nonetheless the message is so important, and we do manage to get the point across, including solutions. However, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink. Unfortunately, the same principle applies; we can provide you with the best-written document, but unless you read it – it is useless, and unfortunately children are left vulnerable.

If you can name a dozen top mobile media and Internet issues threatening your children and the potential solutions needed to either protect or empower your child then, “Think It Won’t Happen To You”, is not for you.

If the latter statement is true, then we would like to invite you as a guest post writer. For everyone else, take the time to read what two years of research and more than a hundred guests have shared with the CyberHood Watch about what children and parents are facing in the digital age.

Safe Social Network Site For Kids & By Kids

Let’s go back to this horse at the trough and this complacency of not taking action. Yesterday, Mary Kay Hoal of YourSphere gave CHWradio a very generous Birthday gift for all our guests, listeners, and partners. CHWradio’s Birthday present from Mary Kay is a free six month paid membership for your children, grandchild, or even your neighbor’s children.  Take Action! Go to YourSphere and enter this code: YS10-CYBH, and give children a gift of a safe monitored social network site for kids and by kids.

david c ballard

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