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Now we see the importance of balancing both planting and building within a child…

by bwardell on August 27, 2010

Sometimes it’s just as important to know from where the potential source of imbalance between planting and building comes as it is to know how to plant and build. When the building component (habits and structure) of a child’s upbringing is left out, it’s usually because it involves making demands and imposing behaviors on a child, which some parents and teachers are very hesitant to do.

There are a few reasons for this:

1) fear of conflict: sometimes the parent or teacher will ask themselves: “what if he refuses to cooperate?”
2) lack of patience: when the parent/ teacher is too busy with other things to deal with the child- “Do I have the time or energy to deal with this conflict now?”
3) a thoroughly democratic worldview: when a parent or teacher in their minds feel that they themselves do not have the right to tell a child what they should do or think- “Who am I to tell the child what is right or wrong?”
4) from unpleasant childhood memories: “I hated the way my parents imposed their will on me, and I vow never to never to make my child suffer the same fate!”

For a well-balanced parenting and teaching job that includes both planting and building, whoever is involved is encouraged to overcome whatever barriers there are and engage in vigorous planting and building, providing children simultaneously with clear behavioral guidelines and good values.

And likewise, parents and teachers often leave planting out of the formula because of an educational tunnel vision. Building produces instant results. When we change the behavior of a child, we see it right away- at least on the outside, so parents and teachers often end up focusing only on the instant result aspect of their teaching.

Planting, however, really requires from you courage, vision, faith and most of all, patience. We need to convince ourselves that the values and perspectives that we teach our children will eventually produce behavioral change over time, which means you have to set aside the desire for instant results. We need to stand by calmly and wait for the behavior to change.

Now we see the importance of balancing both planting and building within a child.

The internet, because of the nature of the “beast”, is like building at a frantic speed without any planting. Because of the internet we become more and more impatient for results. The internet gets faster and faster and more and more interactive every day, with videos, and camera conferences and the like. As a result we leave out the planting more and more.

Building occurs in speeds and directions that are very hard for the parents and teachers to control. For example the internet helps to build behaviors that are more satisfaction-based rather than health- and happiness-based, and therefore more likely to be addictive than healthy. The little planting that is done by surfing online is of ideas and values that may not be at harmony with what the parents and teachers want for their children.

Exposing children to the internet causes very unhealthy balances between planting and building. Every parent and teacher needs to take the child back in their hands and start the dual job of planting and building.

Learn IT, DO IT, Teach IT, Share IT, BE IT

Your CyberHood Watch Partner

Bill Wardell

Radio Security Journalist

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