You…Our CyberHood Watch Partners.
David Sabine is a practicing clinical psychologist and author of the upcoming book “Chair With A View”. David is on the front line dealing with predators, parasites, and pathological behaviors.
John Nelson, also known as the Bookstore Bandit & Bank Robber, is now an author and prison expert. John knows first-hand about crime, unfortunately through his ill-chosen decisions. John now dedicates himself to helping kids avoid the mistakes he made.
Last and certainly not least is Robert Goldman. Robert is an attorney and a psychologist specializing in teen issues. Robert founded Psychological Restorative Solutions, P.C., and a corporation that develops programs that facilitate peaceful resolutions to conflict and promote personal growth.
All three men are past guest of The CyberHood Watch, and it is always great to have any of our guests return to share his or her wisdom.
We began our discussion with John Nelson about the wrong message being sent to our kids regarding the sexy portrayal of jail and custody. Unfortunately, kids as young as eight, nine, and ten live for the opportunity to brag about their time being incarcerated, it is considered a badge of honor, said Buzzy Martin.
John addresses re-entry issues of inmates, and how those addicted to drugs and alcohol have not received any help to become productive citizens. Ninety percent of those incarcerated are there for non-violent crimes because of dealing with drugs and alcohol addiction. Those incarcerated for drug and alcohol are now learning the behaviors from hardened criminals.
John is adamant about the role of parents and his or her responsibility to keep their child’s moral compass on point. Be involved with your child, and do not assume everything is okay…Check things out.
Do not let your child wiggle out of punitive actions. Your child needs to understand consequences when he or she breaks the rules. What do you think your child thinks about Charley Sheen and other public celebrity figures who consistently manipulate the system without consequences?
Be sure to stop by John’s web site, “Where Excuses Go To Die” and check out his post, “Six Signs Your Kid is Headed for Jail”.
We began our next segment having David Sabine talk about no excuses; parents need to know what his or her child is doing. David pointed out the concept of “Social Learning”. David explains how studies show how kids respond to media, video games, etc. and how they will mimic violent behavior. The other side to this coin is if children see consequences implemented, they understand that as well. Children need to see consequences.
Parents need to interpret what the natural consequences are and how it will relate to his or her child’s life. In addition, we need to help our children recognize the “good” in the environment around us.
“Three hots & a cot”. That is the phrase, David interpreted for us addressing those who see winter approaching, and then proceed to commit a criminal act in order to assure themselves three hot meals and a place to sleep; jail.
Many of those who have been horrifically abused suffer relentlessly. David talks to us about “radical forgiveness”, not at all like the concept of no harm on foul, accompanied by a verbal topical forgiveness. David talks about the perpetrator asking for forgiveness, and the victim offers forgiveness because it releases the victim from the cycle of retribution, revenge, and really creates the opportunity for peace, an example of restorative forgiveness and justice.
Robert Goldman joined us and continued the discussion with it takes a village to raise a child. We need to be reminded that our children and his or her maturity and behavioral development are not fully developed until his or her early twenties. Parents need to be mindful that even though his or her child may be home, they may be communicating and interacting with others you may not approve, and they do not know, while online.
Robert shared a story that highlighted what David Sabine shared with us regarding “radical forgiveness”. As powerful as the example of Pope John Paul II forgiving and befriending his shooter, Robert’s story (soon to be a book) shows the power of radical forgiveness by a woman nearly killed by several young teens. The boys purchased a frozen turkey with a stolen credit card, and while driving threw it into an oncoming car causing great injury to the driver.
One boy was facing forty years behind bars. The woman hit by the frozen turkey miraculously survived and she argued on behalf of the boy for six months jail and five years probation.
You can listen to Robert tell the events of the story at time stamp: [00:48:45].
A teen had been caught stealing a bicycle and after further discovery found out that, the father was a career criminal. It was what the father shared that touched Robert, “the worst thing that could happen is to share a cell with my son”.
I will repeat something mentioned earlier, and that is 90% of those incarcerated are for non-violent drug and alcohol related charges. Too many are learning more criminal behaviors inside than they would have ever learned outside.
Be sure to download the show to listen to what our guests had to share. You will be a better-informed parent for the effort.
Your CyberHood Watch Partner,
david c ballard
Radio Security Journalist
- I Think My Child Is A Bully – What Should I Do? (education.com)
- Forgiveness (socyberty.com)
- A Behavioral Management at Home Curriculum Can Reduce Inappropriate Behavior (brighthub.com)
- Not My Kid: What to Do if Your Child is a Bully (education.com)